i gave all….. i am not a perfect man, but each and every day…. i gave all. your prayers are appreciated during this tough holiday season, and as i transition back to life in Houston, TX
If the man I love, still loves me
Then let me feel his strength
his struggle through the ways I’ve failed
let him show confidence
Let these attempts at touch again
Not fall cold on deaf ears
the ones I warmed with breath and sweat
imagining our years
let goodnights become ritual
the sanctity of voice
let me hear smile across the miles
assured that I’m his choice
but if the man I love believes
our love has truly slipped
let him be man enough to say
before I taste his lips
before I hold him in my arms
as I have all these months
sometimes afraid I held too tight
for loving all too much
please give him the resolve to say
before I see his eyes
that love has truly left his heart
although hope rests in mine
and if our love be worth the gold
we spoke of all this time
let our value illuminate
this rich imperfect mine
and if the tears I’ve cried these days
are heavy like my breath
and not in vain, thy will be done
loving him, I won’t regret
I know deep down, I loved as strong
as I have ever known
forgave him when he seemed to hurt
if not such grace I’m shown
I know the goodness of my heart
like we know favorite songs
there is no other, like this brother
the “fit”, are not the strong
Yes patience is a virtue
but bitterness a bite
if one you love is kept at bay
delaying heartbreak’s knife
then there’s no greater cruelty
then loving him today
to keep him wondering tomorrow
if you’ll want to stay
Lord, give him who I love this day
with all my heart and soul
the courage to commit today
an alloy towards our gold
not asking for perfection
nor certainty or resolve
just commitment to do the work
we both perhaps forgot
and if there’s still uncertainty
unclear what he desires
then surely it is testament
that our love has expired
for every day that I have known him
cried, or broke, or cringed
I’ve not once questioned who I loved
begins and ends with HIM
And love will spring eternal
if silence holds this poem
if there’s no answer for the plea
to feel again our warmth
For I will try and try again
As surely as I dance
There’ll be another her or him
There’ll be another chance
Today I want that chance with him
Today I wish to know
not selfishly, but eagerly
this is my prayer, my hope
